Learning to be in a relationship is something we will without a doubt all go through at some point in our lives.

It takes courage and trust to open our hearts and be vulnerable be in a relationship so the one you choose, must be worth it.

I am certain we learn something from all the partners we have along the way.

There are some though, that do not deserve our time or our energy. How do you know? Take note of these red flags.

• lacks generosity

• they don’t make an effort with their appearance or dress

• not present in the conversation when you are speaking

• will only talk about themselves

• you make allowances for their excuses – late at work, not in the mood for sex

• doesn’t kiss you on the lips

• doesn’t ask about you or your day

• doesn’t return your calls

• they are not on time

• will make plans for the both of you without consulting you or makes plans without you

Good signs that things are going well, that someone is in to you and worth putting in your effort.

• on time

• happy to see you and make comments so you know

• touches you

• they do things that they know will make you happy

• they are sweet, considerate and respectful

• makes an effort in what they wear, how they smell, and punctuality

• treats you – pays for dinner, asks you out

• you feel respected, cared for and felt

When you have doubts about your partner;

• Learn what forms of body language are

• can you sense they are they something back from you? There is a difference between secrecy and privacy. Secrecy is not acceptable in a relationship

• Pay attention to who they hang around with, times they are away and are they good to their word?

• Create some inside jokes, find some common ground, memories to reminisce about, some movie lines to recite. No sense of humour; might be time to move on

• Do not accept being treated like trash. If someone is treating you like a doormat, using you, talking to you rudely, not thoughtful, not getting back to your messages within the day, late turning up then they are red flags that they are taking advantage. Realise you deserve better. Separate, take time apart and work on your self-worth and self-esteem. There are plenty more fish in the sea, leave before they do you damage. That’s a lesson in itself. The right time to walk. Leave before you get hurt to badly

• If your feelings get hurt like a teenage girl, then maybe you have some inner child wounds to heal

• If they are taking you for granted – free dinner – or pulling away – walk away – don’t waste your time, you learnt your lesson, your time is valuable

Remember - you deserve love deeper than the ocean. Do not settle for a stream - Subhra

What are your red flags? What does your intuition say? We would love it if you joined the conversation and left a comment below.