How do you know if the relationship you are in is toxic? You will know… even before reading this.

Don’t be hard on yourself. Don’t make excuses for them. You deserve the best. And there are people out there who will treat you the way you should be treated.

Signs you may be in a relationship with someone who is not right for you include;

• after being with them, seeing them, even talking to them on the phone you may be left with a drained, exhausted or just plain yucky feeling

• may feel less

• you don’t feel worthy, you may even question your identity

• you ignore your intuition, your gut feeling about them

• they take more than they give

• the conversation will involve blame, requests, attitude, putdowns, and coercion

These red flags lead to a very shallow relationship. You may think it is all just abit of fun but somehow you will get sucked in to the drama they bring. Look out for these signs and then get out of there. Decide if they are worth your energy. Do you see a change occurring in the near future? Is there even a possibility of a future?

They;

• are self absorbed

• sabotage the relationship

• becomes distant and unreliable – hear from them one week, hear nothing the following week

• show no interest in meeting friends or family – they keep you all to themselves

• are not caring or show acknowledgment

• don’t ask about your day

• don’t show up at the time you agreed

Do you find yourself chasing them for attention? Then it is not their attention you need. Journal it out - write down your thoughts, feelings and emotions to get clarity - how do they make me feel? What did they accuse me of? What did they attack you about? How did they show they cared for you today?

There is a price to pay for being in this relationship. The sooner you end it or get out the better in the long run. In hindsight, you will look back and see that it was not benefiting you at all.

Of course, there are the ones who do the complete opposite and are over loving, over attentive, shower you with gifts and praise. These can be signs as well that you are not in a healthy relationship. Be careful about what they are after. Are they being genuine or can you read through what they say or do? Do they change their phone number frequently or hide their friends on Facebook? Do they ask you for money when it’s only early days that you have been seeing them?

Unfortunately, there are people out there who manipulate, who use, who are basically not nice people to be in a relationship with. But on the flip side, there are plenty of people out there who will make efforts, who will do the right thing by you, and who will put in the work that relationships take.

Have you been in a relationship that just didn’t feel right? What were the signs? We would love it if you joined the conversation and left a comment below.