Just imagine if you could go back in time…

A time when you were much younger, less wise, and going through the growing pains. What would you change? What would you tell yourself?

Have you done that exercise where you write a letter to your younger self? Where you reflect on what you have learnt and in what ways you have grown? When you have relived the pain and traumas?

It is worth doing. It’s not easy. It is painful to go back in time and to think about how you could have done things differently.

If I had my time again… If I could offer my younger self some wisdom, it would relate to confidence.

Be confident. Shine confidence. Walk confidently.

As a teenager, I had such low self-esteem, felt worthless and hated the skin I was in. I had anorexia. I put up with horrid bullying at high school and could not wait to get out of there. I compared myself constantly to others. I became mute because I told myself stories like what I had to say was not important enough.  

And it all related to confidence.

I see teenage girls, with fake tans, fake eyelashes, piercings, makeup caked on and mid drifts exposed. I feel for these girls. What happened to make them think, how they look naturally is not good enough? When did it start? Why do they feel the pressure to expose themselves as they do? Why is it not cool to stand out and be different?

Where do they get this message? Is it life telling them this? Is it pressure from the outside world? Or is it only going on in their head? Why so much expense? Why so much covering up what they are?

And I think it comes back to confidence.

Imagine what the world would look like if we were all confident. Confident to be ourselves. To not hide our true selves. Confident to know we will be accepted despite how we look.

So how can we get this message across? How can we spread to our sons and daughters they are loved. They are love. That confidence is an inside job. Is it a parents job or another thing to be taught in schools? How can we teach them now? I want them to know now rather than years down the track.

For me, I have learnt all these things in hindsight. I have confidence now. I have learnt to love myself now. Many years later. I feel like it’s almost too late.  

How can we encourage our children to respect themselves, to set boundaries so they are not taken advantage of? How can we make them believe their own self-worth?

I wish my younger self could have stood tall, could have known my own value, and had been proud.  I wish I had not numbed my feelings or ignored the pain. I wish I had stood my ground and told people to leave me alone. I wish I had voiced my truth more often than not.

I want to open their minds and pour it in. I want these children to be confident. To shine confidence and to walk confidently. I want them to know now so they don’t live with regrets, disappointments or sadness. I wish confidence for everyone despite their age.

Confidence is where it all begins. Spread the word.