A Year In Review
Yesterday was my birthday. I turned 39. It was an awesome day. It was a day well spent as I did all things that made me happy.
I have long ago learned to not expect others to make my day special but to make it special for myself. So now I make a point of planning and carefully considering my birthday in advance, otherwise, there is the chance I will be left disappointed. And who wants that on their special day?
Along with lots of fun and laughter, I did what I always do and reflect on the year that had been. My 38th year. I thought I would share it with you.
This time last year I was in Belize on the island of Caye Caulker, one of the most incredible places to spend a birthday. Since then my year has looked very different from other years. I came home from five weeks away in Central America and my boyfriend broke up with me only to get back together two months later. It was a good decision at the time and I am thankful we did have that time apart. It gave us both time to evaluate what we wanted from our relationship.
Then 2020 came. The year that will go down in history.
Halfway through term one, I decided to go back to teaching in the capacity of a casual teacher. I have finally found how to be a teacher and be healthy at the same time. I was fortunate to sign a contract for the year and I simply turn up to school and find out what class I have that day. There is no opportunity for overthinking or over-committing myself. There is no report writing, no parent-teacher meetings, no work to take home. My nights and weekends are free. It is exactly the lifestyle I am after.
Anyone who knows me, knows I love travelling. It has always been my number one passion. I have always made time for travelling even with a packed agenda, I believe there is always time to travel. So with the pandemic, I had to cancel my travel plans to the Stans, but I didn’t lose out any thankfully. It was a hard pill to swallow being told you can’t do the thing that you love the most in the world - travel overseas. But I don’t want to put myself at risk of getting sick, or even the idea of isolating for fourteen days sounds horrid so that doesn’t leave much room for movement other than to put my travel plans on hold for another time and get on with the year.
It did cause a mini identity crisis though. I had to reflect on who I am besides just a traveller. I have always been about being interesting, being adventurous and pushing myself out of my comfort zone. And I usually do that through my travelling adventures. So when I couldn’t get away I started to ask the question what makes me, me. I had to reevaluate my life priorities. It wasn’t an easy time. A lot of diary entries trying to work it out, means I am a little clearer.
I see travelling as a forced way to rest, as my normality is to constantly be on the go, achieving, and being productive. But being stuck at home for a good chunk of the year was tricky as I had to force myself to go slow and stop packing the days so full so I would not burn out. I am continuing my eight-year journey to simplify and have more white space in my life.
One of my life goals was to travel to 100 countries by the time I turned 40. I was on track until the pandemic came along. Now with one year to go and 18 countries left sadly, it will not be possible. Think I will aim for by the time I am 50.
On the positive side, no travel has meant that I have saved a tonne of money this year. I bought my dream car; a Hyundai Veloster and the rest has been put away for a rainy day.
So with no travel and having to accept that, I found different ways to spend my time this year. Whilst I would usually ‘escape’ the pressure of life, responsibilities, and the busyness of my days, each school holidays, I have instead spent this time doing something else I love; writing on my blog. Writing, plotting and planning and clearing the backlog of draft ideas I have to share. It has been something I really have enjoyed doing and take a lot of pleasure in. I have seen the positives in the increase in my number of readers of my blog over the year.
The other major part of my year has been finishing renovations at my boyfriend’s house. As his work hours decreased because of the pandemic and being locked down at home was the push he needed to start. Over many weekends we have been ticking jobs off and his house is slowly becoming a home. It is so nice to be part of and I am loving that I get to share it with him. He is a great teacher as I am learning a lot as he just laughs at my lack of knowledge about tools and the process of completing things. I am often shocked by how long even the smaller things take as much more is usually involved than I imagine. I am grateful for a place to settle, decorate and make a home. If I wasn’t a teacher, I always wanted to do something with house design or decorating. It has been so much fun spending my energy on something I am passionate about and that is transforming before my eyes.
Due to my love for travel, I have always lived a minimalist life. I have never been home long enough to have pets or plants. This year I have loved spending time and caring for my boyfriends dogs and I have introduced plants to our home. I now have plants that are still alive many months later. I am even growing strawberry plants, garlic and a passion fruit vine.
If I am honest, I feel like my relationship has dominated my life over the last year. Mainly because I wanted it that way. I am having so much fun and learning a lot about myself through this relationship. I look forward all week to the weekend just to spend more time with him. Yet, I feel like I haven’t been as good a friend to others as I would usually be. Whilst prior to being with my boyfriend I had more time to write, text or call friends. Now each day is busy. The pandemic has made it difficult as well. Adding extra pressure.
This past year has seen me the healthiest I have been in a long time. My anorexia is finally at bay and I am eating better than ever. I am the heaviest I have ever weighed at 63kgs and I am okay with that. It has been a goal for a long time. I have suffered anxiety only a handful of times this year and my migraines are not as often. This has a lot to do with being in a healthy relationship and becoming more self-confident. Teaching gives me little stress these days, and I consider the other teachers at school friends. My family have all been healthy this year which is a blessing.
Despite the need to reevaluate my life I have very much enjoyed my 38th year and I find I am more satisfied with my life than ever before. Whilst once I felt uncomfortable to stay home, I now am able to sit, be present and enjoy it. I usually would consider myself a positive person, and this year has proved that I really don’t need much in my life to be happy. It is all about my resilience and mindset.
2020 has forced us to re-evaluate our lives and reflect on what is important. Have you been reflecting this year? How have things changed for you since your last birthday? We would love it if you joined the conversation and left a comment below.