Strategies For The Anxious Child
Do you have that child in your class who is always on the verge of tears? Or perhaps a quiet one who always stands back? Who would never do anything wrong? Or the one who holds on to mums hand until the bell goes? Even in Term Two or Three.
They are probably your highly sensitive students, the ones who are dealing with anxiety and guilt daily, who have negative self-talk and punish themselves. Those are the types of students I became a teacher for. I wanted to be a voice for them. I knew I could make a difference in their lives. Because, that was me at school. I can totally relate. I can feel their pain. It was a lonely battle. But when I never grew out of it and the feelings intensified, a clinical psychologist finally diagnosed me with ‘social anxiety’ at the age of 35. Prior to that I just thought I was a shy and nervous child.
So, what do you do when you recognize the signs of anxiety, the over worrying, panic or nervousness in your students? Can you see it, or do you turn a blind eye? Do you accommodate for them or put pressure on those students to fit in? Do you have a calming corner they can use when things get too much or instead a time out table for the attention seekers? Are you out on the playground to soothe the crying child before school begins or do you do what I see so often and palm them off to the support teacher?
Don’t we want our students to feel safe at school, in our classroom, on the playground? Don’t we want our students to be carefree and relax in our presence? If you are like me and pride yourself on providing a safe environment for these personality types, then below are some strategies you may like to put in place.
Firstly, let children know its okay to cry. Please do not tell them to stop crying when they are. Provide them with tissues and let them get it out. Reassure them that they are safe, and when they stop crying, you can help them. Once they have stopped, you can listen, suggest or action steps or strategies. The overall aim now is to get them to manage their emotions so crying is not their first reaction. You need to be a safe person that they can trust and know that you will do your best to help them. Isn’t that your role as the class teacher?
Provide a safe space in the classroom. I call it ‘The Calming Corner’. Cushions, pillows, fidget toys, colouring in… anything to distract them when they are having negative thoughts. Go over expectations/guidelines whilst using the calming corner and how it is to be used. It is only to be a five-minute corner where children can process and then rejoin the class.
Predict and reenact scenarios with the class group or with targeted students e.g. someone is mean, the classroom is too loud, you do not win a game etc. Should they walk away from the situation? Should they stand up for themselves? Can they tell a teacher that will help them?
Reassure your students that our feelings get hurt all the time but then life goes on. It is important to not dwell and stew on it but to have an escape/calming plan in place. Escape plans can be created with individual students and are personal to each child. When they recoginse bad feelings or thoughts coming then they implement their escape plan aiming to quickly calm themselves and join in the class. This may involve taking a walk outside, doing a job to another class, taking three deep breaths in the bathroom, sitting in the garden for five minute with a buddy, reading in the reading corner, put headphones on and listen to music for five minutes, take a run to the oval and back again – basically something to distract them from their thoughts and calm them.
Discuss that it’s not a bad thing to be a sensitive person – it usually means they are nice people, caring, thoughtful, like to make others happy, etc.
Initiate a feelings journal – prior to coming to school each morning the child completes a sentence about how they are feeling to show the teacher first thing. The teacher may respond to this and it creates more of a connection and bond between teacher and student.
Create a mantra for the child to say to themselves every day. Rehearse it together e.g ‘this is who I am, take it or leave it’ ‘I am strong and invisible, and no one can hurt my feelings’ ‘today is going to be a good day because I can protect myself’.
I would recommend meeting with the students’ parents and express your concerns for their child and what strategies you have put in place whilst they are at school. Do you have their support? Can they implement some of these strategies at home? Can you set up some goals for the child to work towards? How will the child be rewarded – sticker chart, lolly jar, book prize….. In significant cases you may like to refer the child to the Learning Support Team for additional support.
I am not suggesting singling out a child or even mollycoddling them. Just that there are strategies that we can put in place to assist our students to feel safe and secure in our classroom. Is there anything else that works in the classroom for your anxious child? Please share with us below…