Dating A Depressant

It’s not easy. So don’t think it is. No way. It is difficult. It is rough. It tugs at your heart. It is not something that you can fix or make better. Don’t be delusional.

You can though do things to let your partner know you are there for them and make them feel supported. Of course it is nice for your partner to feel your support and encouragement but at the end of the day that is all you can do for them, know that they must save themselves, you can not do this for them.

• Allow them space on their days they are down. Don’t suffocate them by asking too many questions or pressuring them. Just be there. Be in the other room, sit on the other end of the lounge. Just being there will reassure them you are not going anywhere.

• Ask your partner - how can I love you right now?

• Be empathetic, not sympathetic.

• Understand what you are getting yourself into. Do some reading on depression; signs and symptoms. Make sure you are seeing them for the right reason. Do not get into the relationship if you think you can save them and ‘fix’ them. It doesnt work like that.

• Don’t pamper your partner too much during these down days. Don’t try to win their love.

• Manage your own emotions. You may feel anger that they are not the perfect partner for you. You may feel let down that it’s not 50/50. Things will come around again. Do not let their mood drag you down.

• Be you. You don’t have to change for them.

Dating someone with depression tests your patience, tests your faith, tests your love. It tests you as a person.

At times it may seem that your partner is emotionally unavailable. This is challenging. Hopefully they are encouraged to seek professional help to manage and overcome their depression. It is not something you can fix, only your partner can do the work.

I often question do I need to be with this person? Why do I not find a boyfriend who is not depressed? But then I remember no one is perfect. No one out there is free of life’s problems. It is just how well they deal with them.