The Good, The Bad And The Ugly About Long Distance Relationships
Relationships are difficult enough without having to throw in living in different countries on opposite sides of the world. My last relationship was mostly long distance. What was meant to only be a holiday fling while I was travelling around the world, turned into something much more serious. Whilst I have no regrets from that chapter of my life, I know for sure that dating someone who does not live in close proximity, not in the same country on even the same continent, is not something I would like to go through again.
The heartache, the separation, the not knowing, all add such weight to the relationship and to each of you involved.
Of course, there are many reasons and circumstances that can not be changed which result in dating long distance, such as work, family, living situations, country restrictions, global pandemic… but hopefully, for your sake, it is only for the short term.
It is not natural to not be together when dating. Remember the feeling of always wanting to be with your person, wanting to surprise them or plan things together. That is part of the fun. Yet when separated, this can either strengthen your relationship, bring your closer or add obstacles and barriers. It can be a tricky one to navigate.
The two key components to any relationship, despite where you are dating long distance or not is communication and trusting each other. With crystal clear communication and knowing there is trust there, long-distance relationships can be successful and thrive. You have to put in the work though.
Good
when you are able to be together, you can love on each other even more than those who see their partners regularly
the time, when you are together, is very special and memorable
you can plan to meet in different locations around the world - we were able to travel to Bali, Langkawi and Kuala Lumpur and all over Morocco together
you both have to be vulnerable and completely honest with each other to keep your bond tight
you are both great support for each other and are there for each other
always have something to look forward to
Bad
you almost need to schedule and plan in advance when you will see and be together or talk to each other each day
it can be time-consuming, spending hours on the phone or Skype chatting each night
feel guilty if you are too busy or things come up so you can’t speak to your partner regularly
it’s not easy not seeing your person when you want, you need to work at begin okay with it
some sacrifices may need to be made
it is expensive to travel to meet up - and then you are limited to how much time you have together
you need flexibility in your work to be able to take time off to see your partner
you have to be okay that you will go to parties or events alone while everyone else may have their partner with them
you miss the intimacy that a relationship provides
you can not expect your partner to sit at home and not socialise, they will be going out and living their life without you there, this is where trust comes into the picture
you will feel lonely at times
you may miss special occasions together
Ugly
feelings of jealously coming up when you miss things together, can’t be together, see others together
anger at the government, at your job, whatever is keeping you apart
is spending one week with your partner really worth the heartache and pain on leaving again at the end of the week
you will actually feel heart ache - it is a real pain you feel in your chest area in your heart and is the worst feeling
things like the global pandemic hit and the world shuts down forcing decisions that you have no control over and frustration
when things are rough you start considering ‘‘would I be better off without them?”
In my experience, dating long distance was literally heart wrenching love. It hurt my heart so much to not be able to be close to my boyfriend, to not be able to touch him or see him when I wanted. The positive was that we loved on each other so much while we were together, it was a beautiful love.
It was difficult to manage and for a lot of it, not fun. Humour though played a big part in our relationship. We would try to cheer each other up and were always laughing and joking. Two years was way too long to be separated with only seeing each other in person several times a year, which lead to me making the decision to move overseas to be with him.
Have you been in a long-distance relationship? How did it work out for you? We would love it you joined the conversation and left a comment below.
