Do you have a boyfriend/partner/husband/brother who you wish would do things for you without having to ask? There is always one. The one you have to nag, or repeatedly ask, like a zillion times, but still nothing gets done.

I have had enough of asking but I have finally figured out the trick. It’s the way you suggest something happening that works. You have to play the game.

Below are my fifteen strategies that often work for me. I hope it might empower you and him to get things done:

1. Get him interested. Hint what he gets out of. How it will benefit him.

2. Suggest what you are going to do today, and ask him if he could help get you set up, and often they will take over - I wanted to wash the moss off the deck roof using the pressure cleaner so I asked if he could bring it upstairs and help me set it up. He did and then spent the next hour doing the job for me! Win.

3. Lead by example - my boyfriend used to line the empty cans up in the kitchen rather than take them outside and put them in the basket. I put them immediately in the basket and then the kitchen bench remains clean. Now, every time, once he is finished, he puts the cans in the basket. He can see how much a clean kitchen means to me.

4. Compliment him when he does do something without being asked - ‘I like how you put things in the dishwasher rather than on the sink’.

5. Tell him when you prefer something that he does - my boyfriend has a single seat and a three seater lounge. Before he would sit in his single seat and I would sit alone on the big lounge. I mentioned once that I felt like a knob sitting alone and would prefer if he sat next to me. Now every time he will join me on the three seater. If I hadn’t said anything, maybe I would still be sitting alone.

6. Ask for something that would mean a lot to you - such as your tired and need help washing your hair. He can see how much this means to you so will make more of an effort to help out.

7. Catch him at a good time - weekends are best when there is more time. Or if you have a quick ten-minute job maybe one time during the week would be best, knock it off the list. Avoid asking as soon as he walks in the door. Also as soon as he sits down to watch the football. You have buckley’s and have just wasted your opportunity.

8. Work together - teamwork makes the dream work. I will often suggest mowing the grass when it is long. He is keen if I help. So I mow out the front and he does out the back. Works for us. Cuts the job in half for him.

9. Make a goals list - things working on and like to achieve. Depends on his enthusiasm. Maybe start with this year’s goals, or break down to this month’s goals or this week’s goals…

10. Put things in his way - if its the bins out that you want, then place them at the front door, if it’s dinner made, place all the ingredients on the bench ready for him… you get the idea. Be obvious without being obnoxious.

11. Make it easy for him - have it on the calendar, set an alarm, or remind him once in the morning.

12. Remember they are not mind readers - tell him what you need from him, just don’t repeat it over and over - that’s called nagging.

13. Make it sound like it was his idea - put words into his mouth - slyly.

14. Joke about it - use humor or sarcasm (carefully)

15. Talk through the tasks with him - break it down into baby steps. Reward him for any progress.

Have you tried any of these tactics with your partner? What has worked or not worked for you in the past? We would love it if you joined the conversation below.