August 2022 In Hindsight
I was loving life this month. Feeling good, feeling blessed, feeling soulful, feeling peaceful in my head and body. I have been loving the challenge of my new job, the weather has been great, getting out of a weekend, training hard and finally my lockdown cellulite is gone.
But then my perfectionism and people-pleasing crept back in and brought me down hard. The inability to say no has meant my schedule is jammed packed so instead of a nice cruisy 8:30 - 3:30 job I have been up and at it at 7 am and working most nights and weekends just to get all my work done. Which was never the plan. It totally took the fun away from the job and it was a huge wake-up call. It is what happened when I was teaching, all over again. It is what happens in every job I do. I had burnout at seven weeks in. I was making a joke of myself. So I had to take a good look at myself. I got angry and cried. I got anxious and had a panic attack at 4:30 one morning. A big wake-up call. I realised I needed to say no and better manage myself and my schedule. So for now I have to suck up the extra work. I put my hand up for it and I am one to follow through. Next term though will be a different story though. I am going to have to find that inner strength again. That inner knowing that I am good enough for the job. It’s time for some more inner work.
Listened to -
* The School of Greatness Podcast with Lewis Howes
* The Tiffany Han Show
* The Lively Show Podcast
* Love What You Create Podcast with Cassie Mendoza-Jones
* Teacherpreneurs; Raise Your Hand Podcast
Read -
* Angelika Frankenstein Makes Her Match by Sally Thorne
* The Paper Palace by Miranda Cowley Heller
* The Lace Reader by Brunonia Barry
* Stillness Is The Key by Ryan Holiday
* Darker by E L James
* Sanctuary by Judy Nunn
Splurged on -
* new yoga pants - didn’t need them but they feel so nice on
Watching -
* Have You Been Paying Attention?
Went to -
* our brigade RFS Info Day - gained five new members
* City Cave for a sauna
* Castle Hill Farmers Markets with friends
* dinner at my Aunty and Uncles
* dinner at my friends gorgeous new home in Grose Vale
* out for dinner to celebrate my bfs son during 20
* Mt Annan Botanical Gardens with my little sis
* Terrigal to see one of my travel buddies and meet her new baby
* Anniversary dinner at Osso Restaurant with my bf
Booked -
* night at Sofitel, Darling Harbour this weekend to celebrate our anniversary
* tickets for Australiana Pioneer Village in October
* weekend away for my bff’s birthday in Bowral next weekend
* two week road trip to Perth and back with my bf
Cooked -
* Carrot cake, Chocolate cupcakes, Chocolate brownies
* Beef Ragu, Black Rice and Salmon, Honey Chicken and Feta, Kofta Spiced Meatballs
What's new -
* Home improvements - my bf spent a weekend fixing up the back driveway which has been put off since February because of the rain. It was a big project but it finally gone done and looks great. Big moment… Painters have been booked for October!
* I am used to leaving for work by 7:30 but with my new job I am not starting till 8:30 so I had all this time to do ‘stuff’. I had a chance one morning to cook, I cleaned the house on another, and I even read one morning for an hour. But that lasted maybe two weeks max. Now I start work by 7 am and have no time for anything.
* celebrated four years with my bf last week. Was a big occasion. My longest relationship. It has been a big healing journey for both of us as we have learned to love again. Taught each other about ourselves and what we need as well as what we want. We are at a sweet spot in our relationship as we both finally are at a point where we know what makes the other tick. We take ourselves less seriously and have more fun. We talk about what’s next. We talk about what if. It’s good. It’s really nice to have that. It is something I haven’t really been desperate for but is something I am really glad I found.
Looking for -
* nice dress to wear out
Sold -
* white jacket bought for the white party that I never ended up wearing
Started -
* drinking Vanilla Lattes
Attempting to -
* now read 60 books this year. I set my goal for the 2022 Goodreads Reading Challenge to read 44 books for the year and I did it. Up to 46 already.
August is done. Good done or good that it’s done? We would love for you to join the conversation and leave a comment below.
For other months in hindsight click here
