Do you have things at the back of your mind that you keep telling yourself that you should be doing? Things that are for your good, for your health and for your best…

But in the end, they just torment you over and over, almost daily. Making you feel like a failure or not good enough.

I suffer regularly from a case of the shoulds. Where I put pressure on myself, hate on myself or compare myself to others because I should be doing these things but I don’t. They haven’t become habits yet. They are usually things I have to do consciously and choose to do. Almost force myself to do them.

It’s more when I am working from my masculine energy. Ticking things off, getting things done, being in control. When I ease off and embrace my feminine energy it takes the pressure off.

For 2021 I would love to stop these shoulds. If they happen, they happen. But they don’t make me me or should affect my attitude or mood if they get done or not.

What does your should list look like?

My list looks like this;

• I should dry brush before the shower each night to remove dead and dry skin. It’s meant to help with circulation and cellulite. I have the brush but have barely touched this year.

• I should be flossing each day. I maybe floss once a week but mostly a month before my dentist checkup and a month after then I start to get slack again. I know its for my good but is something I have always been lax about.

• I should be tongue scraping every morning. It improves your sense of taste, removes bacteria and reduces bad breath, and improves overall health. It got me in so I bought a tongue scraper and use it at random times rather than every day. It is just something else to do and often slips my mind.

• I should take a bath with magnesium salts regularly. It helps relieve stress, inflammation and muscular soreness. Plus they feel so good but who has time to take baths these days. We even have a spa bath but I honestly have only taken two baths this year (don’t worry I do shower each night).

• I should be exercising 3-4 times a week. When I get into the flow of things I do exercise every week. Every morning actually but I often fall off the wagon and go for a couple of weeks without training. Then it is a greater effort to get back into it.

• I should make more of an effort with friends and family. I don’t have kids so I don’t have that excuse, but I am a busy person by choice and easily fill my time. However, I have this voice telling me that I need to make more time and effort for others.

• I should have a zero email box each day. I try to delete and catch up in emails but it is rarely possible. Usually, a holiday or a weekend thing if I have the time or the guts to click delete all.

• I should not be eating sugar, dairy, meat, wheat or drinking alcohol. I have decreased the amounts I eat but I am 100% at any of these. I still am very conscious of what I eat and choose to eat healthily but as a recovering anorexic, I have tried to take the stress and pressure off food and just eat what feels right.

Can you relate? What are your shoulds? What are you going to let go of in 2021? We would love it if you joined the conversation and left a comment below.