The Trouble With Perfectionism
Being perfect is an unrealistic and unattainable goal.
It is something I have personally suffered for many years, not only in my career as a teacher but also in my personal life.
I like to think of myself these days as a ‘recovering perfectionist’ as I have worn the scars of trying too hard. I have learnt the hard lessons of not getting anywhere because I was so scared to start in fear of what others will think.
Who doesn’t want the perfect wedding day? Or the perfect family photo? The best marks on your university assignments or to be the best at sports? It sounds ideal. Yet, takes alot of efforting, usually unnecessarily. Even the idea of a perfect time away on holidays is often far from what you are going to get. I speak from experience. Often ‘perfect’ can come from the uncertainty and being able to flow with anything that tries to push you off track.
But ultimately it is about needing to let go of the ‘perfect’ tag and just roll with the punches. By knowing you will face the challenges when they arise or being able to see the humor in things when they don’t go to plan, are the first steps to overcome perfectionism.
Perfectionist are never ready to start. Can you relate?
They spend way too much time planning. Awesome planners, have everything organised yet will not start.
They overthink
Obsess over not burning out so they attempt to make life too perfect before doing it. Which is just wasted time.
Creativity is the polar opposite to perfectionism so this can be a key area for struggle
Perfectionism can be debilitating. It can mean you are not living a full life. So what can we do, for those of us struggling with being perfect?
Letting go of such high expectations is key
Let things be messy for awhile and learn that life still goes on even if the carpet hasn’t been vacuumed for a week
Just doing something and seeing what is the worst that can happen
Understand that there is no such thing as perfect. It is an impossibility
Redefine your definition of ‘perfect’. Understand that often your good is someone else’s best
Do the inner work - be compassionate to yourself, give yourself grace
Break your negative thinking habit - journal, CBT, meditate, recite mantra’s
Stop taking yourself so seriously - forgive yourself and trust your path you are on
It takes bravery, take courage to see what is next so be brave!
Stop worrying about step nine when you haven’t even taken step one
Recovering from perfectionism takes patience and even some prayer
I have lost count of how many times I have hit ‘publish’, knowing the post is not perfect, or feels incomplete. You would be surprised how many times I go back over my writing, adding and editing once it has been published. But the main thing is I got it out there, I started. I got over the first hurdle of imposter syndrome and it being perfect. I haven’t had a nasty comment yet so I don’t know why I worry so much about what others think. But know I will deal with that when it comes. So I take the jump each day. I do the messy work, and know it is perfect for now.
Is there something you are putting off starting or getting done because you are worried about it being perfect? We would love it if you joined the conversation and left a comment below.
